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I wrote an article recently about having too much expectation for your children, and this can be a danger for some, but, by far, a greater risk for American parents is to be a little too indulgent with your kids. These days, many parents take a lazier approach to parenting as opposed to parents from other cultural backgrounds. Rather than expect our children to achieve anything worthwhile, we just take care of their needs, makes sure they are comfortable, and wait for them to "find themselves." I appreciate the desire to give children freedom of thought and some time to arrive at their own decisions about life�in fact, it's crucial. But children also do need more structure than parents these days often give them. Here are some ways you can curb the tendency to indulge your children too much and push them just a little bit more.
1. Push Them to Pursue Hobbies
One of the best things you can give to your children is the gift of engaging interests. Children left to their own devices will often follow the herd and lose themselves in a fascinating world of video games, movies, and mainstream media�and there is enough content there to keep them busy for a lifetime.
In the past, and presently in many cultures outside America, parents expected more out of their children�character-building pursuits. They enrolled their children in music and pushed them to practice often. They had them study art and participate in sports for the sake of just moving around and staying active.
Even an interest in puzzles or games like chess and reading books can be more positive for your child than many technological endeavors.
2. Expect More
Simply expecting more out of your children can do a lot as well. Many children are expected to participate in school and not get in too much trouble and that is enough, but it can result in great rewards if you make it clear that your child is expected to strive.
Push them to get better grades and push for improvement in everything they do�do not push too hard, especially if their natural abilities make your expectations farfetched, but they should be expected to try harder than the average American kid.
3. Hold Them Responsible
Hold your children responsible for their actions. Teach them accountability. If they fail to follow through on obligations or if they misbehave, they should learn there are consequences for their actions. If they make a big mistake that ends up costing you money, they should work to pay for it.
Often, today's parents leave these things unpunished or even un-discussed simply because they want to deal with the current stresses of the day and try to keep the peace. This type of behavior teaches your child nothing.
4. Show Them the Future
It is also important to teach your child at a young age to think towards the future. Many kids do not consider their adult years at all anymore until it is time to graduate high school�only the "over-achievers" prepare by taking the right courses, joining the right clubs, getting the right grades, and cultivating the right skills.
Your pre-adult years are a very important time because most kids have less responsibility and can put energy into preparing for a better life, so it is important to take advantage of this. But if you don't explain this concept to your children and push them to plan, they will not likely do it on their own.
Basically, curbing child indulgence is as simple as making your child see from a young age that they have to try a little harder than the average person if they want above average results in life and holding them responsible for their own personal development.
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