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Do you have a child who tends to see the problems, who thinks of the reasons that something can't be done? Quite possibly, your child is a pessimist in the making. Over the course of a lifetime, pessimism has been linked with increased stress, high rates of anxiety and depression, limited success, poor health and a shortened life span. What if we could help our children adapt to new situations and think more positively? What a favor we would be doing them! Below are a few ways to challenge negative thinking in children: 1. Teach the child to recognize and reframe catastrophic thinking. Catastrophic thinking causes heightened anxiety in children. It is imagining catastrophic outcomes and usually makes use of words like �never� �always� �everyone� and �no one�. For example, the anxious child may say �No one will want to be friends with me.� Challenge these statements and help your child develop a more balanced view of what the future may hold. If you repeatedly challenge catastrophic thinking, your child will pick up on the technique and begin to use it himself.
2. Help your child recognize the link between the narrative he tells himself and the way he feels. Have him look at how he feels in impacts his life. Challenge him to imagine how someone who thinks lots of positive things might feel. How might they behave? Please note that this step requires a certain level of cognitive development, and is not appropriate for younger children.
3. Build Self Esteem. While this is a huge topic, worthy of a book, one place to start is to have the child make a list of his positive qualities. Add to the child's list and provide evidence as to why you belief the child possesses that quality. Often, very negative children don't recognize anything inherently positive about themselves.
4. Pessimists will attribute failures to enduring qualities about themselves, and successes to circumstances. Optimists do just the opposite. Teach your child to look at situational factors when he experiences failures �I could have studied differently�, rather than �I'm stupid�. On the other hand, help him to see the enduring qualities about himself that brought about success. �I accomplished my goal because I am very persistent�.
5. Teach children how to problem solve. A pessimist will be quick to label a situation hopeless, and never try to change it. Take a real life situation that the child is unhappy about. Write down the issue. Then challenge the child to think of actions he can take to improve the situation. From that list, prioritize a few actions and encourage him to carry them out. Some of the strategies might fail, but others will prove helpful, and this will encourage the child to problem solve and be proactive in the future.
| About The Author Cindy Jett, LICSW is a psychotherapist and author of Harry the Happy Caterpillar Grows, an acclaimed picture book that helps children adapt to change. For more information, visit http://www.harrythehappycaterpillar.com.
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